All Sorts of Sexy!

Megan Lee
 Blogger Scholar

 Mapping Your Desire
Dr. Jaime Grant, Ignacio Rivera, Jack Harrison, Amelie Zurn

Interested in getting 100 queers in the same room, attentive and ready to learn? Talk about sex. Title the session “Mapping Your Desire” and create a workshop designed to create a “life-long journey toward sexual empowerment and a more just world”, and believe me, they’ll be there. I mean, that’s why I went, right?

Desire Mapping is a tool designed to create a powerful and authentic understanding of yourself and your sexuality. As a concept, it sounds easy, but the process is surprisingly complex. As Dr. Jaime Grant explained, the most important thing in creating your sex biography is to tell the

Jaime Grant discusses plotting "points" on a Desire Map.

truth, which is harder than it might seem. Getting honest about the “points” on your map requires really opening up to your own, well, desires.

Each of the panelists opened with one of their particular Desire Map points – stories from their pasts and the ways that has created the fulfilling and honest sexual experiences they have now. From there, the audience worked through our own Desire Maps. One of the things I appreciated from the session was that all range of sexual experiences were validated and welcomed from self-identified “vanilla” to “kinky switch whore”. As Dr. Grant pointed out, even people who have had no sexual experiences can still utilize and wholly benefit from a Desire Map because no sexual activity is still a concious choice.

The take away message (beyond the idea that open, honest sexual desire is healthy, natural, and good)? Consent and mutual respect are the bedrock of healthy sexuality.

Panelists Dr. Jaime Grant, Ignacio Rivera, Jack Harrison, and Amelie Zurn listen as an audience member desribes a discovery “point” on their Desire Map.

2 thoughts on “All Sorts of Sexy!

  1. A wonderful session; reading your blog helped trigger the warmth I felt at Creating Change.

    Just a quick note about the penultimate sentence: I think what she said (and I’m happy to be corrected) was that even those who were choosing to not have sex could benefit, because it was a conscious choice.

    Some people would love to have sex, but have challenges in finding partners. To self-pleasure or not is more easily a conscious choice.

    Still glowing from the amazing folks and conversations at CC.

    1. You’re absolutely right, tallgrass, and thank you for clarifying the session. I think it’s crucial to remember that there are a multitude of reasons that folks in our community do or don’t have sex with other partner(s), self-pleasure, participate in fantasizing, etc.

      I’m so glad to hear you enjoyed Creating Change – I very much share the feelings of warmth you experienced and have been so excited to bring those feelings back to my community here in Mid-MO!

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